I was sitting here contemplating how far behind I’d fallen in my blog. Among other things, there was no election night coverage with Satan, because election night had gone much quicker and smoother than I had anticipated. Luckily, at least for the possibility of getting something interesting up on the blog, my cell phone rang and the display said Hell.
“What’s going on?” Satan asked. “I noticed you didn’t post our election night coverage.”
“Post what? How we sat there and watched the returns as they came in, smooth and steady to the conclusion projected by the polls? That would’ve been particularly boring, even for this blog.”
“We enjoyed that nice Chianti and some fine cigars.” Satan retorted
“Yeah, but that’s more interesting in person than it is for people to read about.” I responded.
“Duh!” I responded. “Not a lot has gone on lately. The economy is still having a rocky time, we’re in that after election lull--- politically. There’s just not much to do.” I said, disappointed.
“Are you burning out, man? Because if you are, you came to the right guy.” Satan laughed.
“No. I would just like some material for a post. Election night didn’t give it to me.”
“There’s more to this world than the election.” Satan said.
“Which reminds me, I’ve been meaning to ask you, are republicans dumber than dirt? Or is it that they just think everyone else is? And what do you have to do with it?”
“Moi? And, whatever do you mean?” Satan asked innocently.
“Well, let’s look at this whole automobile companies bail-out. The Republicans blocked it, because they said the greedy unions, and thereby, greedy union workers, would not make enough concessions. Now, while admittedly, the unions are going to have to continue to give concessions on benefits, current, and especially in the future, where do the Republicans get off stopping the bailout and calling these workers greedy? Even with the limitations on executive compensation in the $700 billion financial services bail out; an executive can make as much as a score of auto workers, or more. Also, we can blame a chunk of our current financial woes directly on the financial sector---that we had to bail out. While the auto companies certainly could have done a better job of remaking themselves for the future, if the economy hadn’t tanked so suddenly and credit tightened up so, completely, the auto companies would have continued getting by, while they continued their own attempts at turnarounds. So, again, are Republicans dumber than dirt, or do they just think the rest of the American public is? Clearly, they have no sympathy for hundreds of thousands of union workers who----tend to vote Democrat. But for them to do all of this so blatantly and arrogantly, it makes me wonder if there are outside forces contributing to this nonsense?” I paused at this point, waiting for Satan to fess up.
"I take it you are pausing, waiting for me to confess?” Satan asked.
“Sure.” I said.
“I had nothing to do with it. It was a plan conceived and implemented by conservative Republicans, to appear fiscally responsible, if you can believe it. In reality though, it was also a move to force President Bush to act, so that they could embarrass and blame him if it went awry, for handing them the loss in the presidential election, which of course they blame entirely on him, because it is more palatable than them ever having to take any responsibility themselves.”
“I see.” I said “It reminds me of a song, but not, of course, Obama the magic negro.”
“A lot of people were upset with Obama the Magic Negro. I understand upset, but surprised? If I have had anything to do with any of this, it is helping many politicians open up and face the light. I help them to let everyone get to see the real person inside, instead of just let them hide in the shadows and do things behind the scenes. From singing about Obama to, can you say Blagojevich?, I like to see people be themselves. It's very entertaining." Satan laughed. "Besides, I understand you have been working on a tune of your own, which I assume was the song you were eluding to.”
“How did you know?” I asked.
“Demonware on your computer. Better than spyware and hey, at least, I helped you finish it! You did not seem able to find a suitable ending, so I gave it one only I could!”
“You mean, I should have entitled this post “Satan is my co-author?!”
“Yep! Here we go….”
(To the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, sort of, loosely)
Republicans, the Red Necked Failures
Republicans, the Red Necked Failures
Had an 8 year collapse
First they brought down the nation
Then helped the world fall on its ass.
They spend us into oblivion
Then blame it on Democrats past
Ignored all the warnings
Blame everyone else until the last
Invade Iraq for no real reason
Attack the unions but bailout your friends
Republicans with your lies so bright
Wonder how you sleep at night?
Now all the failures love Palin
I guess in 2012 we’ll see
If she’s better than a potted plant?
Evil-doing Republicans. you’ll go down in HELL…with ME.
“Nice twist at the end.” I said.
“Please note that I specified 'evil-doing Republicans' at the end, to preserve your open mindedness and not imply that you lump all Republicans together."
"Thank you. It is true. I have some good friends and relatives that have more conservative viewpoints. I find them often wrong, but not evil in any way." I said.
"Listen," Satan began, "why don’t you come meet me at the bar of our favorite New York night spot, and let’s see if we can brainstorm a good sendoff for your blog in 2009.”
“Okay, but by sendoff…you really mean like 'kickoff', sort of a new beginning, not like a farewell to blogging or anything, right? You’re not getting blogger to kick me off, or something?”
“Get my favorite blog canceled? Now that would be a helluva thing to do, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah, real funny. I’m on my way….”
(To be continued…..)