“That’s just plain mean.” Satan said as his face lit up and a wide grin spread across his face face. We were sitting at the bar of our favorite Manhattan spot when the news scrawled across the bottom of the cable news screen. President Bush was suing to stop states from expanding public insurance programs to cover more uninsured children.
"Yeah, tell me something we didn't know!" I said.
"This is pretty despicable though, keeping health care from children in need because he believes this is slowly leading to Universal Government Run Health Care." Satan said.
"Yeah, well, he and his administration aren't going to be accused of either great foresight or great compassion. And as for intellectually and morally considering issues, well, I heard he is also committed to outlawing antibiotics to stop the genocide against microbes!"
"So where do you stand on this issue?" Satan asked.
"I am for the genocide of illness inducing microbes, actually, although I understand the importance of microbes in general and support all non-pathogenic microbes, molds and viruses."
"No." He barked. "On expanding these government run programs for children!"
"Ah, well, I am not a fan of Universal Health Care because I believe it will sap the future of medical innovation and grind health care to a bureaucratic halt where we will end up a nation of chronically ill generic pill poppers. I believe that a carefully constructed realignment of health care is in order, and I have peppered these concepts throughout my many months here. However, I am never against fixing anything and Universal Health Care is better than no health care, which the most recent census just announced another 2 and a 1/2 million uninsured in this country to over 48 million! This needs to be addressed and Universal Health care is one way. If the president fears this, he'd better come up with alternatives because a conservative free market President that hates lawsuits should not be threatening to sue states to stop them from providing necessary health coverage to uninsured children. In the short run, these programs make sense and should be put into place while the kind of system wide restructuring I advocate is explored and enacted." I responded. Satan just looked at me.
"You both think very highly of your opinions," Satan began, "but at least your ideas would help people. and George W. Bush's will help him go down in history, not only for so many terrible crimes against humanity in the middle east, and for his atrocious self serving domestic initiatives, but now, for holding back health care from the children! He will have as a big a place in history as he imagines, but not in the way he believes." Satan smiled.