Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Karl Rove Apologizes! And HealthCare Reform Part 2.

Unfortunately Karl Rove resigned before I ever got to finish this (and unfortunately he did not resign many years before!). I post this as Part 2(a) with the rest coming soon, before it becomes even more irrelevant, along with Mr. Rove and his sidekick Mr. W. Bush!
I am sure we don't need to preface this with a list of all that Rove has to apologize for since we have mentioned it regularly. Of course, he only advises, and the worst offenders are really those that follow his lead. Nevertheless, to remind you we can just look at his most recent debacle; his coordinating on behalf of the administration, the firings of the Federal Prosecutors. Now, this is just the latest in a string of heinous violations of decency and human and religious moral and ethical codes. But it came as quite a shock when I turned on the television and found Rove making this announcement: "I am terribly sorry for helping to engineer a Presidential Administration that makes most Americans long for the good old days of Nixon and Carter and the non lethal crimes of Watergate and runaway inflation and oil prices (oh wait--we have those!). Yes, you see, I have just come to realize that I, as bad as I am and have been known to be since High School, still have not been myself. It appears that I have been channeling the spirit of Lord Voldemort (of Harry potter fame) for the past 6 years." This was not really much of a revelation, of course, but what was, was just how swiftly George W. attacked him on it. Standing next to him, in a show of support, the President appeared quite angry and turned to him and said: "Darn it all, Karl, The Dark Lord? He-who-must-not-be-named!? He was a brilliant tactician, he almost took over the entire Wizarding realm, Karl---why the heck didn't you clue me in so I could have put you in charge of Iraq?!!!!" At this point I started to smell sulfur and brimstone. I just hoped mine wasn't the only television receiving this broadcast! I pulled out my cellphone and, even though I knew it would cause every kind of petty overage known to cellphone science, I called HELL.
"I thought that would get your attention!" Satan said.
"Oh man, you mean it wasn't real?" I asked.
"Oh, it's real, except it is not really Lord Voldemort he is channeling, but rather a resident of my domain, Aerostreptos, an ancient Mesopotamian regional ruler that created death and mayhem and was only a tactical genius in his own mind! I figured he would fit well with this administration but because he fashioned himself a 'dark lord' with mystical powers to try to dissuade his detractors from killing him, which actually did not work as they threw him into a pit with a thousand scorpions, I guess there was a misidentification. But while this is all true, in actuality, Karl and George haven't really gone public. You are the only one who knows!" Satan laughed, thinking how frustrating this would be for me.
"No. I am the only one who saw that transmission, but that there are evil influences surrounding this administration is hardly a shock. I assure you, the majority of the country, and the world, already knows this.
(To be continued...)

3 comments:

Bruce said...

A fun-to-read use of your signature "Satan-technique" along with [the timely] Harry Potter motif.

Despite my usual dislike of attributing evil to most mainstream American political endeavors, I remain impressed with your Voldermort-Satan fantasy.

Any chance Harry himself can be woven into this?

Bravo.

Larry said...

We'll see in Part 2. I understand that W. and Gingrich have realized the only way to make Republican HealthCare Reform (a fantasy in itself) work--is through magic!

eme said...

Bruce,
In case you wondered about the definition of evil (from Merriam Webster Online):
1 a: morally reprehensible : sinful, wicked, an evil impulse, b: arising from actual or imputed bad character or conduct, a person of evil reputation 2 : inferior b: causing discomfort or repulsion : offensive an evil odor c: disagreeable ,woke late and in an evil temper,3 a: causing harm : pernicious ,the evil institution of slavery, b: marked by misfortune : unlucky
George W. Bush UNDOUBTEDLY meets this criteria. When someone causes tens of thousands of deaths, needlessly, they are inarguably evil.